We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
