watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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