I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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