Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
