Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
