I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize