The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
