And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
