Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
