when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Come share oat with me in your robe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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