Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
