She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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