she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
