He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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