Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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