just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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