Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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