i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
