We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
