I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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