i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
