I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
