Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
