Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize