i may or may not be watching the land before time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
