Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hippo gnu deer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
