And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
