I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
