nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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