My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize