just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
