Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
