Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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