I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
there is glitter all over my balls
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
