Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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