Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
