I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
