I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have fence marks all over my body
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
