i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
