My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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