So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize