ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
