ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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