I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
