just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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