Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
