how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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