youre lurking in front of me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize