Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
