DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
