she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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