I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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