Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
