K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize