Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this boner is exhausting
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
