would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
