I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
