Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
