kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
